On Design, Honestly

Sometimes I ask myself how I became a designer. The answer is too complex for a few lines, but I feel at its core there’s a simple discovery that still fuels me today. There was something I was deeply curious about. A simple event that occurred many, many years ago. It was something I made for a friend in Photoshop, a collage of sorts, you could say.

One rainy afternoon, after postponing homework for lord knows how many times, I sat in front of my humming, dusty desktop. I opened a barely running, pirated copy of Photoshop I had spent hours downloading and activating, and I stared at the interface. Dozens of icons, each one looking more and more interesting. Functions, labels. My head was spinning, but my gut was telling me this was something new and amazing. I had no idea what I was looking at, but it was intriguing. Honestly, it was very intriguing. To the point I lost all perception of time, space, or anything beside the monitor in front of me.

The goal I set out with was to make a simple collage for a friend who I've been joking with - silly and fun at the same time, representing a "meme" of sorts, if you will. I “mounted” a few elements onto one of his photos to surprise him and maybe make him laugh. To my astonishment, the feeling while doing this simple task was like discovering a new world. What takes me three minutes today took three hours back then. I watched videos (far fewer and worse than now), read articles, and eventually pulled it off. How good was it? Let’s just say I put a smile on his face - and that was the point.

A new world

I couldn’t shake the genuine curiosity that moment sparked. Day after day I went back to the program, explored more, tried things. I tried adding a few more elements on another photo, and then I tried one of those more "complex" tutorials online. It was all well and good but teenage life swept me up again and I moved on to other pursuits. A mistake? Maybe, maybe not.

But the spark had lit a slow, smoldering fire deep down. I was pretty confused back then, but without realizing it, there was an idea beneath the surface. For a long time I wondered what to pursue for my higher education, which major to choose. A lot of ideas passed through my head. Then someone, somewhere (I can’t remember who), at some point said, “You draw well - why not study Graphic Design?”

That statement, through today's optics, looks just about as relevant as “You can boil eggs - why not become a Chef?". Hell, I didn’t even know what “graphic design” really was. I had to look it up before I could consider it. I had little to lose - back then I was leaning toward Political Science. Absurd from today’s point of view, but who can blame a teenager for their wild ideas? Partly born out of desperation, partly due to confusion, I started thinking more and more about the idea.

When I understood what the profession of “graphic designer” actually meant and connected it to that magical moment and the fire smoldering inside me, the choice became very easy. All the confusion and brain fog were lifted, and a new purpose was born. My higher education, however, didn't really provide what I was hoping for. That's a topic for another day, but suffice to say I found my way.

Pixel by pixel

My career is a chain of circumstances, a fair bit of luck, and an even larger dose of hard work and perseverance. At its center is my love for the craft. I love what I do, and I’m grateful for it every day. Many people don’t love their work - I consider myself lucky not to be one of them. When I started as an intern back in the day, I didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't work with simple concepts such as layer masks in Photoshop, but I wanted to learn. The fire was burning, bright as ever, and my mind quickly started filling in the dots. This was it; I made it. What I had made exactly as an unpaid intern was debatable, but the idea that this was the promised land started growing on me ever so slightly.

I kept designing and kept getting to know more and more about the craft. I keep doing so today, but deep down I know that learning design is a lifelong endeavor. There is no finish line. The future will show what’s next, but I truly believe one thing: design, in all its breadth, will remain a core part of my life. I love the fine details, the act of making, and seeing the things I make do their job. That feeling is too strong not to be real.

Design is an incredible calling and a very curious one. You can be on the top of the world one day, then sink to your lowest the next. The key is to find your bearings quickly and keep the embers of curiosity bright and hot. There are good days, very good days, and hard ones. But for me, that fire is still there, day after day. It pushes back the dark when it looms and keeps my soul warm. What more could a working man want?